Chestnuts (and Briefs) Roasting on an Open Fire
by HerosReprise
Summary: It's Christmas time, and Vegeta's grandsons are up to no good. It's a shame their parents are as hapless as ever. light-hearted x-mas one shot. fluff.


**_A/N:_** **I uploaded this one a while ago to my tumblr to celebrate Mia's (Writer'sFantasy) birthday.**

 **Thought I should upload and here, since it's kind of a Christmas one-shot.**

* * *

The twins were on a sugar-driven, hunt and gather mission early on Christmas morning. Grandma Bulma had been majorly sneaky in hiding all of the presents throughout the Capsule compound to avoid everything (including the presents not addressed to the demi-saiyans in question) being opened before first light.

The 6 year old boys, Camise and Edrew, had given up on the present hunt after upturning the library, study, playroom, their mum's art studio and their dad's office to no avail. They had currently set their sights on the kitchen.

The maids had started the cooking early. It was in fact only 6am, however, being Christmas, Aunty Bulla and her boyfriend were supposed to be returning home for the holiday and their cousins from the Son family as well as Nana and Pop (among others) were to make an appearance this afternoon. Food preparation required an early start if they wanted to feed such a large, _hungry_ mass of guests.

A pot, big enough for both boys to stand up in, was set on the stove slow cooking something that smelled absolutely delicious. After receiving a boost from his brother Camise climbed onto the fiery stove, watching carefully where he stood as not to burn his bare feet. He peered into the silver cauldron with curiosity.

Just as he thought, the potatoes were marinating in a thick vegetable gravy. His mouth started watering at the sight. As he realised just how hungry he was after their big search operation.

"Dare me to take one?" he smirked at his identical counterpart.

"Mum will be mad," Edrew warned.

"Gramms will be madder," Camise grinned, undeterred.

"Pinch one for me too would you," Edrew beckoned wickedly.

Camise had to lift himself right into the pot to be able to reach the precious loot at the bottom. He had his hips pressed to the lip of the vessel and reached into it, unaware of the fact he was forcing the pot of searing hot liquid to tilt towards his unsuspecting brother still boosting him up.

His small fingers were centimetres from contact with the potato when the disgruntled voice that often sent shivers up his spine called out from the door way of the kitchen.

"What's this?!" His voice was raised, but even, and free from shock. As if he wasn't surprised to see the scene in front of him despite what his words suggested.

The boys immediately removed themselves from the stove and straightened up as if no wrong-doing had occurred.

"Nothing, Grandpa-Vegeta, Sir," the boys sing-songed in unison, the lie flawlessly upheld. Not a hint of denial or doubt about them. They were quite talented little tricksters.

Vegeta frowned and made a menacing looking face, "You wouldn't happen to be trying to steal Christmas dinner before you have been permitted would you?" He stepped closer to the boys who were desperately trying to keep their poker-face intact.

"No Grandpa-Vegeta, Sir," they responded again, despite flinching slightly as the scary Saiyan stepped closer to them.

"Because you know what we do with little boys who steal food before it's been served?" Vegeta began, as he closed the gap between the boys.

Edrew gulped and Camise began to sweat, their impeccable innocent disposition vanishing at the imminent threat coming their way.

"We replace the food stolen with _them_ of course," Vegeta whispered in a hoarse serious tone. At the sight of his grandsons going rigid with fear Vegeta smirked, satisfied he could still scare them when required. He was proud they could save-face for as long as they did but they would need to work on their ability to maintain an innocent facade indefinitely.

Camise let out the breath of air he hadn't know he had been holding when his grandfather's smile made him realise he was just playing with them.

His brother, obviously on the same wavelength, threw an unexpected punch at Vegeta's arm which literally caused no damage at all.

"Oh yeah? You're gunna cook us up huh?" Edrew provoked, "I'd like to see you try old man!"

The twins began laughing and shot off in different directions, beckoning their grandpa to try catch them.

"I'll give you a 20 second head-start," Vegeta announced after the twins had bolted, "And then I'm starting on the main course."

* * *

His wife was pretending she was still asleep, even though her pattern of breathing had returned to that of a fully conscious person. Trunks leaned into her and considered calling her out on her false pretences. They both needed to get up and deal with their twin terrors.

"Five more minutes," Marron mumbled into her pillow.

"Five more minutes could see Capsule Corps destruction from the mini-Supers," Trunks mused.

Mini Super Sayains was more of a nickname than a description of the boys. They were not actually capable of the transformation, which was expected at age 6.

Edrew and Camise, looked almost identical to their father Trunks when he was their age, with one obvious difference.

They both had their mother's light blonde hair. They were the first, ever, Saiyans to be born with that hair colour and all of their families and friends had joked that they were 'born-super' since they had the light coloured eyes to add to the mix.

The boys seemed to embrace the nickname and often overestimated their strength and challenged just about everyone on the Z-fighter squad.

They felt accomplished when they broke things. The spoilt brats. Hence Trunks' immediacy in wanting to get up and get through the 'gift giving' segment of the holiday and hopefully satiate the boys' hunger for destruction.

Marron rolled over and placed her face into her husband's chest, "But it's only 6am," she whined, "You knew I wasn't a morning person when you married me, it's not my fault."

Amused, Trunks wrapped his arms around her and rubbed her back, "Fine," he sighed and he could feel her face contort into a smile against his chest, "Five more minutes."

"Merwy Chrwithmth," she mumbled into him, he grinned. He had been looking forward to Christmas for weeks.

"Are you excited about today?" Trunks asked, even though he knew she wanted to sleep.

She rolled onto her back so that she could breathe, "Oh yeah, two hyperactive present-hungry little warriors, and all of our extended family judging our poor parenting abilities, what's not to excite?"

He chuckled, she really was grumpy in the morning, "Not that, I mean, didn't we agree we would be telling everyone today?"

Marron opened her eyes for the first time that morning and looked at Trunks. Of course she remembered. She was certainly nervous about telling everyone but judging by his dopey grin, he was obviously excited about it. She couldn't help but match his level of enthusiasm despite her fatigue.

"Oh yeah," she said, rubbing her stomach, "Absolutely," she beamed.

Trunks shifted on the bed, lowering himself away from the head so that his face was over Marron's stomach. An action that had become routine for him.

"Hey there little one," Trunks whispered. "I hope you enjoy the Christmas feast today," he grinned.

Marron chuckled nodding her head.

"And thank you for being my gift this year," he whispered seriously this time, before kissing her stomach.

"Aw," Marron cooed, "Come here, I'll give you a gift," Marron tugged Trunks from the nape of his neck, pulling him towards her for a kiss.

"Well we do still have 1 minute 20 seconds left," he kissed her briefly before the sounds of pots and pans crashing in the kitchen below their bedroom interrupted the couple.

Marron rolled her eyes, "Okay you were right, we should have been up ages ago," she sighed as she made for the bedside to get up and dressed before dealing with her little trouble-makers.

She pulled the dressing gown over herself, passing clean clothing to her husband looking disappointed, sitting on the bed, "You coming down too?"

"Yeah, just one more thing," he gripped Marron by her waist pulling her towards his face. He spoke directly to her stomach again, "Please let there be only one of you in there," he begged.

* * *

Marron reluctantly slid the door to the kitchen open, certain it was going to be bedlam.

Vegeta was holding both boys by the ankle in one hand. Hanging upside down, they were screaming and carrying on, trying to swipe at him as he held them over a boiling pot of Christmas dinner. Their heads so close to being dipped.

"What's going on?!" Marron screamed out.

The boys hushed their commotion and the three of them turned to face the cross mother. Wide eyed, the boys just pointed at their captor and Vegeta simply pointed back at them as an accusation of blame.

Marron looked over the dishevelled kitchen noting all of the cutlery, crockery and cook books littered over the floor as if a great battle had taken place in Bulma's kitchen.

Trunks muttered something under his breath as he walked in behind Marron with a wagon of presents in tow and looked over the scene.

"There won't be any presents until this place gets cleaned up," Marron growled sternly taking the arm of the wagon and threatening to throw them all away.

The sheepish, apologetic look came to the boys' faces, obviously well-practiced and fake.

"I'm sorry Mum," they both churned out in unison, making their best cutesy faces complete with puppy dog eyes.

"Aren't you going to say anything," Marron muttered to Trunks who looked amused rather than annoyed.

He changes his expression quickly and glared at his sons and then to the likely man responsible for the mess.

"Seriously Father?" Trunks admonished, "I thought you would know better," he crossed the room and pulled his sons away from the stove, placing them safely on the floor.

Vegeta merely rolled his eyes.

"They'll need adequate seasoning before you put them in," Trunks whispered low enough so that only Marron couldn't hear.

Vegeta smirked and swatted Trunks on the back, "I'll get the salt and pepper," he announced, shooting the boys a daring _'this isn't over look'_ look as he left out.

"NO! Mum he's going to eat us!" Edrew squawked, rushing to hug his mother's legs, "Dad's in on it too!"

"I don't know what you're talking about?" Trunks shrugged.

"I'm telling Grandma on you!" Camise shouted after Vegeta as they burst out of the room.

"Hey! Get back here!" Marron yelled.

Trunks grinned as he started picking up the contents of the kitchen, well aware that no one else was going to do it, "There's so much volume in this family."

Marron ran a hand through her hair and sighed crouching down to help clean up.

"Hey you can't complain Briefs, I know very well you encourage it," she said.

He smiled, "Is it crazy that I love it this way?" he admitted sheepishly.

She rolled her eyes. Crossing the room to place her faces on his shoulders. After kissing his forehead, she smirked, "If it is, then I'd be pretty crazy too."

* * *

 **A/N: Tried to keep the undergarment naming theme. Camise – 'camisole', Edrew – 'drawers'. I'm pretty lame I know. GRANDPA VEGETA IS MY AESTHETIC.**

 **Comments appreciated. Xx**

 **Thanks for writing and/or supporting beautiful fanfiction. I love this community so much!**

 **Merry Christmas and Happy Holidays to all!**


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